So, a full menstrual cycle since I last posted.

There are reasons.  I know you know.

Here is the dilemma:

Men are eating my brain.

Well, not literally. Because then they would be zombies.

But there is a person, back home, of whom I am fond.  There is no very clear direction in that relationship.  I am not sure what is happening, and it is too early to try to figure it out.  But, there is this way that I don’t want to fuck it up before it gets going.  And there is this other way that I don’t want to be foolish about counting chicks.

Because I’m evolving, right?

I am trying to be present in the day.

I am trying to be healthy.

Good boundaries.

Do for me.

But trying not be a douche to other people, either.  It’s a lot harder than it looks.

So, through a variety of complex circumstances, since getting here to fabulous A2, I have met another person, here.  Allow me to be very clear:  this is not a sexual relationship.  But it is an emerging friendship.  The person here is very clear – because he is Good Boundary Person (and a mental health professional) – that there can be no anything – –

not even immediate-need-releasing canoodling – –

because of my impending departure.When I turn into a pumpkin and have to head back to the Provinces from whence I came. 

Basically – and honestly – – my vanity doesn’t allow me to sort through all of this in any kind of sensible way – –  he was interested, then found out I was leaving, and put on the brakes.  

Now, obviously, when there are real people, you cannot blog about them.

That is uncool. We* know that.

(*We, in this case, meaning Me. Both the Virtuous and the Hedonist.)

So, this past weekend, the guy who is here – physically present but not AVAILBLE – had a little adventure where we got baked and cooked up a quiz.

Which we posted on Craig’s List.

*******

I am a fun-loving, well traveled, professional 43 year old woman. I look like an older Emma Stone. I am seeking a grown-up MAN – – – possibly a cuddly biker type or a sexy librarian type – – for companionship and . . . adventure.

Please respond to my quiz.

Which Gilligan’s Island character(s) do I most resemble?
(And no, no, no…. this isn’t that classic Ginger vs. Maryanne nonsense. Here, “I” refers to you, the person reading this. If you do not understand what this means, well thank you and you can just skip to the end. ) Sometimes, I am many people, so feel free to choose all that apply. Discuss. Spelling and grammar count.

What does the word “assuage” mean?
a. Meat links or patties I eat with eggs and toast.
b. Wages earned using one’s ass.
c. To lessen or relieve. As in my abject loneliness and… certain needs.

If relationships are like gardens, then mine tend to be like:
a. A perennial garden; self-sustaining but requires some ongoing maintenance.
b. That other kind of garden that you rip out and replant every year.
c. A community garden.
d. A vacant lot.

LIGHTNING ROUND –
Forced choice.
I prefer:
NASCAR or NPR?
ESPN or PBS?
Films or movies?
Lattes or big gulps?
Tighty-whities or boxers?
Leaving the seat down or peeing in the sink?
Ginger or Maryanne? (no peeking at #1)
Hot librarians or Hooters waitresses?
Cold-hearted Machiavellian conservative wingnut worldview, or intelligent compassionate sensible liberal worldview?

Please respond with the word “assuage” in the title and include a picture of your face (not your junk). If you score highly, you will get my photo in return. And possibly score highly.

********

So, we put this out there.

Into the Universe.

And got flagged by CL for not including enough information.

But, we also got a shit ton of responses.

Holy hell.

Anyway, it was fun.

There is so so so so so much to say.

But I cannot really say it.

But if you want some good news, friends, I have written close to 50 pages.

Okay, they’re not actually “good” pages yet, and they are all over the map.

But they exist.